


Heart-Stopping Waves of Hurt

by onethingsuniversal



Category: The Prom (2020), The Prom - Sklar/Beguelin/Martin
Genre: F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Mother-Daughter Relationship, This Is Sad, like sad SAD, tw: mentions of death/grief
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-09
Updated: 2021-01-09
Packaged: 2021-03-12 20:02:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28641186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onethingsuniversal/pseuds/onethingsuniversal
Summary: Emma hadn’t meant to start crying, she really hadn’t. She thought she was doing a great job holding it together, like she’d been attempting to do for months now, and she’d accepted that some days there had come a point where it got too much. But she couldn’t bare to break in front of her daughter.orEmma is dealing with the grief of her Grandma passing away, and her daughter Rosie finds her crying and attempts to comfort her in all the ways she’s picked up from her parents.
Relationships: Alyssa Greene/Emma Nolan
Comments: 4
Kudos: 38





	Heart-Stopping Waves of Hurt

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone! I did not mean to write this, I just mentioned the idea of Rosie comforting one of her moms to Kate (AnotherUsernameIllForget) and then SHE suggested Emma was crying because her grandma died and here we are.
> 
> Not going to lie this one hurt a little bit to write, and it’s not as long as my oneshots have been more recently - but despite how heartbreaking it is I’m actually quite proud of it.
> 
> Plus it’s pretty sweet.
> 
> Apologies in advance.
> 
> (title from the lakes by Taylor Swift)
> 
> (Kate wanted nothing to do with this - something about it being too sad - but too bad bcos the tswift thing can aLways be blamed on her) (she actually suggested ‘DONT READ THIS IF YOU DONT WANT YOUR HEART BROKEN’ but mine is better)

Emma hadn’t meant to start crying, she really hadn’t. She thought she was doing a great job holding it together, like she’d been attempting to do for months now, and she’d accepted that some days there had come a point where it got too much. But she couldn’t bare to break in front of her daughter, which is why she found herself perched on the edge of their bed, head heavy in her hands, as she let go and just let herself sob- it brought so much relief that in a strange sort of way it almost felt like coming up for air, for it sure felt like she’d been drowning since it happened.

The afternoon had started off innocently, Emma and Rosie just sat colouring in together over the console table in the living room, but the woman had gotten distracted whilst the kindergartener was adding the final few strokes to their joint masterpiece, and her eyes moved to a photograph sat in a frame on the table. The sight of it had gotten more bearable as the weeks had passed, but it still brought tears to her eyes. 

The photo was of her Grandma’s last visit to see the family, not too long after their second daughter had been born, and they all looked so happy, especially Emma- who had one armed draped around Betsey, with Rosie on her lap, and another cradling the newborn Junie. If she’d known that would be the last proper weekend she got to properly spend with her in her own home, she would have done a hundred things differently.

But that day, the photo seemed to trigger something inside Emma that was too big to blink away or shrug off, and she felt herself plummeting back into the heavy grief quicker than she could keep herself afloat, so she got up from her seat on the floor, fully intending on returning back in a few minutes once she’d splashed some cold water on her face.

“Mama will be right back Ro- mommy is in Junie’s room if you need her.” Emma choked out, hoping Rosie didn’t recognise the emotion in her voice, before walking blindly to her bedroom, ears ringing and vision blinded by tears.

She wasn’t sure how long she was crying for, she’d adjusted to zoning out whilst she let the emotions run their course, it was easier that way, but it was far longer than she’d expected to be. As time had passed, and begun to help her heal, it had been easier to control the ever-present dullness she felt when she thought back to her Grandma, the call she got when the hospital told her she was sick, the plane ride that she spent with a vacant look that matched how she was feeling, and finally the last few days she got to spend with the woman who was her greatest inspiration. She felt sad that her daughters wouldn’t get to know her the way she had had the pleasure too, and sadder that the one year old, currently being put down for a nap by her wife, would have no memories of her own of her.

Emma lulled in these thoughts, that only brought fresh waves of tears, gripping onto the comforter in an attempt to ground herself. She tried and failed to calm herself down, unable to focus on one thing for more than a second, before hearing a small voice at the door, and looking up to see Rosie using an arm to peer round the open crack of the door.

“Mama? Are you okay?” She asked quietly, taking a few tentative steps towards her mother. The five year old had become pretty accustomed to sights like this in the months since her great-grandmother’s death. It made her sad sometimes too, but she didn’t fully understand what it all meant, so most of the tears she shed when it first happened were those of sympathy for her parents, who were clearly taking it hard.

“Hmm? Y-yeah baby, I’m ok... go back and finish your picture.” Emma said between shaky breaths, reaching a hand to rub behind her glasses furiously, as if as an attempt to remove the evidence of her outburst. As a parent, she tried to breed a positive space where Rosie could share her feelings, no matter what they were- but she still struggled letting down her walls and showing weakness to anybody, let alone her daughter.

“I don’t think you’re telling truth... it ok to be sad sometimes” Rosie said wisely, parroting words that had been said to her in the past by the very woman sat in front of her.

“You’re right Ro- I am a little bit sad, but I’ll be ok, you don’t need to worry.” Emma relented slightly, knowing it was important to be honest about her feelings with her. She managed to stop the violent sobs that had been falling from her throat just moments before, but the tears were still rapidly falling down her pink cheeks.

Rosie came slowly up to stand in front of Emma, reaching a hand up to stroke her damp face. At the action Emma melted a little bit more, the conflict of utter sadness but massive gratitude she felt for her daughter in the moment only stirring her emotions more, dissolving her to tears once again.

“Is it about Grandma Betsey mama? Is that why you’re sad..?” Rosie asked, keeping her voice low and soft, and sounding almost exactly like Alyssa did when she would comfort Rosie if she was crying.

Emma could only nod, not trusting her voice to support itself if she tried to talk. She felt a little infantile and slightly pathetic in the moment, but she was proud of how mature and soft Rosie was being towards her. The girl came closer still when she wrapped her arms around her mother, who was shaking silently with tears, “it’s ok mama, she’s in a happy place now remember” Rosie cooed, patting her on the back gently- yet another gesture she’d picked up from Emma and Alyssa that they used to calm her down. 

“Im going to get mommy- I think you need a proper cuddle” whispered Rosie, who quickly slipped off down the corridor, before Emma could even protest it. And as soon as she left the room she felt herself fall just a little harder, head falling to her hands again. She hated this, the endless spiral of sadness, and the fact that she couldn’t think of her Grandma’s warmth and compassion and kindness without feeling all of the hurt- she’d been told that would come with time, but she couldn’t survive much longer.

Some time passed, and soon Rosie returned with Alyssa in tow, distantly hearing the whispers of an explanation through the walls of the house, and if she wasn’t so busy crying she probably would have smiled at the sound of two of her three girls talking.

“Oh Em, come here...” Alyssa said, frowning as soon as she saw the state her wife was in and quickly rushing to sit on the bed and envelope her in her arms. The brunette turned her head to the girl standing by the door watching the interaction, “Thank you for being so kind to your mama Ro- can you go and play quietly for a little while whilst I have a chat with her?” Alyssa directed at Rosie, who nodded and wordlessly slipped away to find something to do on her own for a bit.

Alyssa didn’t need to ask what was going on, she knew all too well, so she just held onto her tightly, vowing silently she wouldn’t let go until Emma wanted her too. After a little while, the woman in her arms spoke up,

“Did Junie go down ok?” she asked, voice faltering with the simple sentence. Alyssa felt her heart go soft at the words, here Emma was dealing with one of the hardest things she’d ever dealt with, which is saying something considering the series of events of her teenage years, and yet she was more worried about wether she’d taken Alyssa’s attention away prematurely from their daughter.

“She’s asleep, they’re both ok- you don’t need to worry about that now.” Alyssa reassured her, still hugging her firmly, knowing that the pressure helped to ground her wife slightly and wanting to help in anyway. Feeling the woman relax in her arms at Alyssa’s confirmation, she whispered softly into the unruly blonde curls that sat upon her head. 

“It’s ok darling, just let it out- I’ve got you, I’ll always have you I promise”

The words of comfort added another entire new set of emotions into the pot in Emma’s brain, her only reaction was being able to squeak out the thing that was mainly on her mind before sobs once again took over her body.

“I miss her.”

**Author's Note:**

> I’m sorry! I know it’s sad- I warned you.  
> But I hope you found some sort of comfort in any part of it at all.
> 
> Comments & Kudos always appreciated :)


End file.
